Travel constipation: Why you should give a hhit

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If you’re one of the thousands of people who suffer from travel constipation, it’s time you start giving a shit. There’s nothing healthy about stopping your digestion in its tracts (#pooppun).

Aside from the general discomfort, constipation can be a sign of a deeper issue. Constipation can turn into a much bigger pain in the ass by predisposing you to everything from hemorroids to colon cancer.

What Causes Travel Constipation?

There are many causes of constipation. If it isn’t something you are used to dealing with from the comfort of your home, your issue may be one of these things:
While your first thought may be to blame contaminated food or water, if others in your travel group don’t seem affected, then this probably isn’t the cause.

Irregular Pooping Patterns

Women are more likely to suffer from travel constipation than men. I’m not sure if it’s an effort to be more feminine or what, but a lot of women have a problem dropping off the brown baby in a bathroom they’re not comfortable with. I once had a boyfriend who used to joke that women didn’t poop. At the time I thought it was funny, but looking back it kind of pisses me off. Those little comments contributed to me feeling that the thought of women pooping grossed out men, and subconsciously made me uncomfortable doing such.

Each time you tell the turtle to stay in his/her shell, you’re contributing to a turtle traffic jam that may lead to days or even weeks of turtle hibernation. If you want those little fuckers to take their designated exit, than don’t put up unnecessary stop signs.

Stress

Stress can cause the digestive tract to be more sensitive than usual. This is actually a tricky one because on-going, mild or sporadic stress can all lead to constipation. Stress actually causes your gastrocolic reflex, which is normally unconscious, to become lazy.

The less they do their job, the harder your stools, and the harder you have to work when it’s time to squeeze that shit out. Straining then causes internal hemorrhoids and nerve damage. This causes incomplete emptying of your stomach, the stools get bigger and you’re literally in a cycle of tough shit.

JetLag

Our habits tend to condition our bodes like a clock. If you’re traveling across time zones, jet lag may be to blame for your clogged pipes. If you’re used to hitting’ the bowl after breakfast, once you arrive halfway across the world, Mr. Brown might be knocking when you’re fast asleep.

Diet

Your diet obviously plays a huge part in your digestion. Whether you’re hitting the slopes in Aspen or sunbathing in your travel itinerary usually alters your regular eating habits. Just because you’re sustaining a healthy diet, doesn’t make you immune to constipation or other digestion problems.

Sudden Change in Diet

A sudden change in diet, even if your diet is healthy, can cause a pretty heavy stain on your digestion. Think about dogs. You give them a new brand and suddenly your dog is one large tube of brown toothpaste.

Unfamiliar Foods

Women traveling abroad often struggle with travelers constipation more than someone just going from coast to coast. Foreign or unfamiliar types of foods can be very hard on the stomach.

Fiber Addiction

If cereal is your default breakfast, your body may be going on strike. If this is the case, you may be tempted to find the nearest supermercado and feed the need. However, fiber addiction is behind all major colon / rectal disorders ranging from hemorrhoids to colon cancer. If it isn’t already too late, try weaning yourself off of fiber addiction before you travel.

Eating at the Wrong Times

Traveling often disrupts your eating schedule. Whether you’re too busy on that (insert tour name) or you find it too difficult to find foreign food that you actually want to eat, it can be hard to sit down for 3 meals a day.

Dehydration

Whether you fell asleep in the sun or drank a fifth of Vodka in the club, dehydration might be the root of your poo problems. Avoid dehydration-related constipation by drinking water, especially if flying. Also move around when you can — for example, while waiting for flight connections or by taking rest breaks when driving. Other travel tips: exercise, limit alcohol and make a point of eating fruit and vegetables.

Acute Indigestion

Acute indigestion can be caused by anything from ulcers to binge drinking Fireball on the beach in Rio. If this is what’s ailing you, the worst thing you can do is go all sorority girl and take a bunch of laxatives.

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  • Robynne
    Reply

    Interesting information and helpful too.

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